Would you like to have a better mastery of the way you communicate?

If you answered positively to the question, I start by telling you that the body has a crucial role in communicational processes. Communication is the basis of every human relationship, and at the same time, one of our greatest challenges, because communication between human beings occurs in a space of intersubjectivity.

Albert Mehrabian (1972) observed that when we are listening to another person, we rely on three essential elements: words (which count for 7%), tone of voice, (which counts for 38%) and body language (which counts for 55% for understanding the message). The same study concluded that when faced with ambivalent situations, we rely more on the signals we perceive from the body than on words.

I am sure you have already met someone and felt that there is something about that person that does not transmit a trustworthy feeling. Generally, this happens because you are "reading" a series of non-verbal signals which are contrary to what you are hearing. Which means that for communication to be effective, there must be a congruence between what is said and the body attitude (gestures, posture, look, facial expression, etc.). It may also happen that you feel, at a very subtle level, some incompatibility with your movement profile, and may occur what Judith Kestenberg (2018) called misattunement.

Some authors consider that the basis of empathy arises in the body and in non-verbal interaction, as is the case of Daniel Stern (1985) who states that before the acquisition of language, the baby creates a bond with its mother through a pre-verbal and "corporeal" language. Fuchs (2013) also mentions that communication takes place at a corporeal level, through intercorporeality and interaffectivity. 

So how can I improve my communication using my body as a resource?

One of the essential things is to improve your body awareness. And this is simpler than it sounds, the body is a fantastic resource, to which you have unlimited access. The greater your body awareness, the greater your ability to be aware of your bodily sensations, and consequently your feelings, thoughts, and actions. Always remember that emotions are felt and visible through the body and bodily expression (Damásio, 1995). Your body postures can say something about you, but they can also be intentionally readjusted to modify your moods. For example, if you feel insecure and have to make a presentation, an oral examination, or interact with a teacher or patient, try pausing for a few seconds to understand how you are feeling internally and become aware of your body posture.

Prepare yourself corporally for the task, just as you prepare yourself when you review the matter mentally. Practice conscious breathing, focus on yourself and if necessary, readjust your body so that you feel more confident (e.g., straighten your back, lift your head, expand your chest a little more). This is because if the body and the mental processes are connected, and if both play an important role in communication, it is an advantage to be able to combine them so that your message has a greater impact on those listening to you. 

Do you know who you are when you move? What movements, gestures and postures characterise you?

We all have a unique movement profile that characterises us, like a "fingerprint". If you notice when you see someone you know from afar, you can identify the person by the way they move, the gestures they make or even their body posture.

Your movement profile develops as you interact and explore the world around you in the early years of your life, and with it your personality and sense of identity. Our body and the way we move expresses who we are and what we experience (Bartenieff, 2002).

I ask you some questions and invite you to think it over so you can get to know yourself a little better through your movement patterns. So think about the following:

1. What is your relationship with the space that surrounds you? Do you react in the same way in the different spaces where you circulate? Where do you usually position yourself in a classroom? Is it always the same place, or do you usually change it? Do you stay more in the middle or in the corner? Do you want to absorb the whole space? Or do you feel absorbed by the space itself?
    
2. What distance do you apply when interacting with others? How do you position yourself when talking to other people? Closer, further away? Do you tend to invade the other person's space, or do you often feel invaded?
    
3. What are the body postures that characterise you? Do you avoid being seen? Or do you enjoy being noticed by others?
    
4.  What kind of expressiveness do you put into your gestures and movements? What is your internal attitude towards the time factor? Are you naturally more hurried or slower? And what about the space factor? Do you tend to have only one focus, or do you have an impulse to want to pay attention to several stimuli at the same time? What about the weight factor? Are you predisposed towards lighter or firmer movements?

Finally, I give you some suggestions that may be useful to make your communication more effective:

1. Body check-in: Before any situation or event where you have to interact with someone, you can take a moment to stop, see how your body is doing and how you are feeling. 
2. Pay attention to your breathing: Observe and notice how it is, slow or fast? You can consciously perform diaphragmatic breathing cycles to achieve relaxation, or through the nose to energise. 
3. Relieves muscular tension: By relieving tension in your body, you improve your mood to interact with your surroundings. You can do stretches, small movements or changes of position so that your energy flows without blockages. 
4. Check how your personal space is in the interaction with the other: Pay attention to the other person's reaction and respect their body limits. If during the interaction you notice the other person moving backwards, or their body posture becoming more crouched, these are signs that you should readjust yourself in the space, i.e. increase the distance between you. 
5. Adjust your movements to the space where you are: If you are speaking to an audience, it is advantageous to use a more open movement in order to fill more of the space around you and draw attention to yourself. The use of small movements in this context can promote boredom. Whenever possible, use expressive gestures in your speech, as this captures the attention of the person listening to you. 
6. Readjust your rhythm to that of the other: By doing this, you allow a greater sense of empathy and communion with the other person. For example, if your rhythm is too fast compared to the other person’s, try to slow it down a little. But beware: in a conflict situation you should do the opposite, avoid "matching”, try to soften your movements so that there is a contrast and the other has to readjust to you. 
7. Observe your body posture: Avoid crossing your arms as there will be a tendency to give the message that you are not comfortable. Relax your arms. Avoid putting your hands in your pockets. Keep your back straight and shoulders relaxed. You can lean forward slightly, reinforcing that you are accessible and receptive to an approach.
8. Keep eye contact: Making eye contact with the person who is speaking to you shows interest in the other person, concern, and credibility. Be careful not to make your eye contact too intense, because in this case it could be interpreted as a provocation. Respect the 3 seconds rule.
9. Use the mirroring technique: To create more empathy you can mirror some gesture and/or posture that the other person may be doing. This does not mean imitating the other person, but to correspond in a subtle way to some details that you observe in the person. Usually when there is an empathic connection, this phenomenon occurs spontaneously.
10. Do not forget paralinguistic behaviours: Learn to modulate your voice, emphasise words that you want to highlight by changing the speed of speech, tone of voice, etc. Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in communication. The most effective way to control and improve non-verbal communication is to become aware of your body language and the way you use your body when you communicate. This means that proprioception influences the development of social and relational skills. If you are interested in exploring this topic, please contact Espaço S, we will be happy to create workshops that work on these aspects.

Bibliography

• Bartenieff, I. (2002). Body movement: coping with the environment. New York: Routledge.
• Damasio, A. (1994). O erro de Decartes. Lisboa: Temas e debates.
• Fuchs, T. (2017). Intercorporeality and Interaffectivity, in Phenomenology and Mind, (11), pp. 194-209.
• Goldman, E. (2004). As others see us. Body movement and the art of successful communication. New York: Routledge.
• Jiménez, R. et al. (2013). Inteligencia emocional y comunicación: la conciencia corporal como recurso, in revista de docencia universitaria, 11 (1), pp. 213-241.
• Kestenberg, J. (2018). The meaning of movement: embodied developmental, clinical, and cultural perspectives of the kestenberg movement profile. New York: Routledge.
• Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. Aldine-Atherton.
• Schmidsberger, F., & Löffler-Stastka, H. (2018). Empathy is proprioceptive: the bodily fundament of empathy – a philosophical contribution to medical education, in BMC medical education, 18(1), pp. 69.
• Stern, D. (2000). The interpersonal world of the infant: a view from psychoanalysis and developmental psychology. New York: Basic Books.
• Wahl, C. (2019). Laban/Bartenieff movement studies: contemporary applications. New York: Human Kinetics.
• Veenstra, L., Schneider I., koole, S. (2017). Embodied mood regulation: the impact of body posture on mood recovery, negative thoughts, and mood-congruent recall, in Cognition and Emotion, 31(7), pp. 1361-1376.

Filipa Narciso
Psychologist at Espaço S